That eviction notice did the trick.

Or maybe the threat of hooking a speaker up to Michelle’s belly and blasting Wayne Newton music 24/7…….

Whatever it was….it’s worked.

Baby is on the way. No doubt about it. Michelle is at St. Mary’s Medical Center at Langhorne, PA, all hooked to tubes, wires, monitors. Rested and ready. Looking forward to her first of many epidurals.

And I’m doing fine too. Thanks for asking.

 Stay tuned.

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In my last post — a message to the child-to-be — I asked….

No, urged him… Strongly urged.

No, that’s not right. I flat out DEMANDED that he get the hell out of Dodge. Or whatever we’re calling Michelle’s belly these days.

It had no effect. The round mound remains.

And as the days go by, my eternally cheerful, glass-half-full, happy go lucky Michelle has transformed into… Well, I think the picture below spells it out:

So I’m appealing to my readers — both of you — for ideas. How do we move things along?

One of my co-workers suggested some good spicy Pineapple salsa.

I thought maybe placing a speaker on her stomach and blasting some Wayne Newton songs might encourage him to leave.

I’m also guessing that going horseback riding is out of the question. (Poor horse).

Ideas, anyone?


Newton during his USO show at the Patriotic Fe...
Image via Wikipedia

  

Another in our series of posts highlighting the laws of the land in our 50 states (and one district!) in regards to Surrogacy:

From the state that produced 8 US Presidents, the Pentagon and Wayne Newton (really), we present just a few of the laws of Virginia:

Citizens must honk their horn while passing other cars.

It is illegal to tickle women.

No animal may be hunted for on Sunday with the exception of raccoons, which may be hunted until 2:00 AM.

In Culpepper, VA, No one may wash a mule on the sidewalk.

Meanwhile, over in Frederick, VA any person who owns a pool risks a $2500 fine for not closing the gate to the pool when they get done swimming in it.

And in Norfolk, women must wear a corsette after sundown and be in the company of male chaperone.  And yet, a man may face 60 days in jail for patting a woman’s derriere.

Also: Spitting on a sea gull is not tolerated.

Finally, in Waynesboro, VA it is illegal for a woman to drive a car up Main Street unless her husband is walking in front of the car waving a red flag.

Speaking of red flags: Gestational Surrogacy contracts are most unwelcome in the Old Dominion. And especially our relationship with the IPs, Barb and Michelle.

Virginia surrogacy law prohibits compensated surrogacy, as well as excluding same-sex couples from participation in surrogacy arrangements. In fact, Virginia surrogacy law mandates the intended parents be defined as a married man and woman.

It is also a criminal offense in Virginia to pay an agency or lawyer to find a surrogate. To make matters even more complex, the surrogate mother has up to 25 days after the birth to nullify the previous arrangements and keep the baby herself.

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