In my last post — a message to the child-to-be — I asked….

No, urged him… Strongly urged.

No, that’s not right. I flat out DEMANDED that he get the hell out of Dodge. Or whatever we’re calling Michelle’s belly these days.

It had no effect. The round mound remains.

And as the days go by, my eternally cheerful, glass-half-full, happy go lucky Michelle has transformed into… Well, I think the picture below spells it out:

So I’m appealing to my readers — both of you — for ideas. How do we move things along?

One of my co-workers suggested some good spicy Pineapple salsa.

I thought maybe placing a speaker on her stomach and blasting some Wayne Newton songs might encourage him to leave.

I’m also guessing that going horseback riding is out of the question. (Poor horse).

Ideas, anyone?