I warned you this would happen.

March Madness — my favorite time of year. Otherwise known as the NCAA Basketball Tournament, I’ve enjoyed this wonderful four weeks of frenzy since….well forever. So many awesome memories associated with it.

Watching games with my Dad on a grainy B&W television as John Wooden’s UCLA teams defined the meaning of a true  ‘sports dynasty’. Attending two Final Fours in person, perched in the extreme nose bleed section of that cement tomb otherwise known as the Seattle Kingdome.

So what does March Madness have to do with Gestational Surrogacy? Well everything of course, at least in my warped mind. Because this month of basketball passion and pagentry is about living the dream. Striving for that ultimate goal. To truly call yourself: Number one.

So back to surrogacy: If you had the chance to pick the Number One male….and female….to create the ultimate embryo to be implanted into a surrogate….who would that be?

Ronald Reagan and Margret Thatcher? Albert Einstein and Madame Curie? How about Andy Warhol and Janice Joplin, pre-1960s drug habit?

See where I’m going here? The possibilities are almost too much to comprehend. How could you possibly arrive at the Final Two?

Well, the answer is quite simple: Using an imaginery tournament set up and run by a blogger with way too much time on his hands!

Welcome to GuestWomb’s Field of 64. This is more like two tourneys in one, with 32 men and 32 women vying for the honor to produce the ultimate surrogate child.

So here’s how it works. The Selection Committee — consisting of myself, a surprisingly agreeable Michelle and my equally warped daughter Emma — have chosen the Field of 64. Thirty two men on one side of the bracket, and 32 women on the other time. We’ve grouped them by categories — sports legends, famous politicians, stars and starletts, etc. Plus a smattering of wildcard entrants who really don’t fit into any one box.

Who’s eligible to be selected? The criteria is pretty wide open. Men and women — and even those who are still trying to figure out which column they fit — of any time period. Dead or alive. Even fictional characters are allowed. Remember this is truly the Dream Team, the ultimate Gestational Surrogacy pairing for all time!

(Notice I didn’t refer to this pairing as necessarily the Best and the Brightest.  Once you see the nominees you’ll see why.)

Did we make the right choices? You’ll soon see. I expect a lot of comments on our selection. Who should have made the list. Who shouldn’t be included. (Carrot Top?!?! Really?) Yes. Really. 

Now that the Selection Committee has made its choice, I’ll then rank them — or in tourney speak, give them seeds. The top ranked entry — or No. 1 seek — will be matched up against the lowest person. So it’ll be No 1 vs. No. 16, then No. 2 vs. No. 15, and so on. Both the men’s and women’s draw will have two 16 ‘team’ regionals or bracksts, just like the real deal.

And just like the NCAAs, we’ll play them off every week or so. We’ll be down to the Sweet 16 by the end of this weekend. The Elite 8 will follow next week, leading into the Final Four. Finally we’ll come up with the utlimate surrogacy pairing and ponder what kind of child this team would produce.

So as we count down the weeks towards our real end game, this should provide a fun diversion to watching Michelle living a little bit larger every day.

Lets get this party started! First up will be the top left bracket on the Men’s Field, sixteen nominees composed of male sports figures, politicians and business leaders.  We’ll call it the John Edwards Regional Bracket!

(IMPORTANT NOTE — This post and more to follow are not meant to minimize or belittle the amazing miracle that is gestational surrogacy. I think my previous 73 posts show my respect and awe for this journey. But c’mon folks, a guy can only write so much about the comings and goings of Michelle’s uterus.

Also: Per the laws of the Commonwealth of Pennyslvania, this bracket is not intended for gambling purposes.)