If You Really Want To Know…

So: On to the heart of the matter. Or, more accurately, the uterus. (ugh….it feels creepy just typing that word.) Because this simple blog is centered around one main theme — Michelle’s upcoming adventure of growing a child.

What exactly is a gestational surrogacy and how does it involve us? Well if I was putting this on 140-character Twitter, I’d Tweet: Michelle is going to be the GuestWomb, have an embryo implanted for the purpose of growing a baby (or babies) at the behest of a local couple.

But it’s really going take about another 144,000 characters to describe what’s going to happen this next year or so. I could write post after post and probably not do the science of this subject justice.

Nor would I really want to, and that’s because: My middle name should be: OH MY GOD I NEED TO COVER MY EYES Squeamish. If I had to type in some of these more delicate medical details that I’ve learned over the past 4 months, my fingers would be breaking out in a rash. I get red faced even THINKING about writing these intimate details down. 

So it’s a good thing this blog is going to be less about facts, figures and details, and more about how our lives are going to be influenced and affected. From the mundane to the profane. And all the laughs, tears, frustrations, reflections, joy and satisfaction that come in between.

But we need a common knowledgebase. So lets start with the more clinical and work our way around to ethical and moral issues.

So you could see this movie pictured above. (Which wasn’t too bad by the way — I’ll give the full Siskel and Ebert treatment later on)

Or you can sample some more informed viewpoints.

• Here’s a basic Gestational Surrogacy 101 right here.
• And another one from a Surrogacy agency.
• And if you’re really interested, I recommend checking out this site. This is the organization that we’re involved with — you’ll read much more about them later.

And now for some opinion-laden spaces.

This article from Newsweek is informative but infers that carriers are mostly desperate, poverty threatened women. Especially wives of military men who have been shipped overseas.

Then there’s this story from New York Times. It’s a first person account of a woman who turned to a Gestational carrier as a last resort. Some of her comments rub the wrong way — you’ll find them I’m sure. But most of it typifies why couples are turning to women like Michelle to perform this special miracle.

Oh….be sure to read the comments about this story. Obviously this article struck a nerve!

As I come across more articles and resources I’ll share them from time to time.

 

Welcome to GuestWomb

Saying it out loud helps. Or writing it down, like right now. Because sometimes I can’t even believe it still.

My wife Michelle is going to have a baby. But the baby isn’t mine. Or hers.

Confused yet?

Welcome to my life, since the beginning of this year when we viewed one Sunday morning telecast. A short, 7 minute broadcast that put into motion an amazing adventure for Michelle, myself, our family and dozens of others.

So what’s GuestWomb all about? As the title of this blog states, my 40-something wife has decided to become a Gestational Surrogate. What does that mean, exactly?

Well, Michelle has applied for, tested through and been chosen as a gestational carrier, using her body to grow a child.

It’s been a long process for her to get to this point, full of paperwork, interviews, doctor visits, shots, lots more shots. And careful thought. But she’s cleared every hurdle that’s been put in front of her.

This fall she’s going to be implanted with a previously frozen embryo or two. It’s not her eggs. Or anything from me, either. In fact, she is simply a baby garage as it were for an anxious and infertile couple unable to conceive their own child.

For nine long months she’ll grow and grow. Be poked and prodded with tests and ultrasounds. Surrounded by loving yet eye-rolling husband, slightly shocked kids, and very supportive and positive IPs. In Gestionatl Surrogancy parlainae, IP =  intended parents of the baby (or babies) to be.

A lot it is going to be a ‘hurry up and wait’ scenario, as Michelle goes about her daily life, coping with kids, family, her growing home-based busienss. Oh, and this huge bag of baby hanging off her front.

Until the day of the blessed event. Going into labor. Push, push…puuuuush. Crying baby. Crying parents. And the baby is handed over to the deleriously joyful couple. They hug Michelle, shake my hand (or punch me if they read this blog) and the rent-a-womb has completed its work.

Rent? Oh yes, there’s that little detail. Michelle is being paid handsomely for this 9-month long inconvienece. That’s an issue for us; in fact it’s the one down side in my mind.

That issue is just the tip of an iceburg full of them. Some above the waterline and a lot of them hidden from view right now.

Starting with: What do the kids think? Our two teenage daughters who constitute her successful and happy pregnancies so very long ago. Are they proud of their Mom for an incredibly selfless act? Or things it’s just plain weird and embarassing.

And what of her family? Do they get it, or do they think she’s just in it for the payday? Or my own side of the family for that matter. We barely talk as it is; what is this going to do to our family unity?

How about the fact that she’s….well, no spring chicken? Not many women in their middle 40s are giving birth. Her friends are going to day spas and shopping at the malls, not ‘baby and me’ aerobic classes and buying maternity clothes.

Then there’s the intended parents. What if they aren’t exactly your Norman Rockwell typical portrait of the traditional American family? So much to cover here.

And what about me, your  narrator? What’s going to be running through my mind these next 9 months? Is it just another wacky idea by my slightly crazy wife? Or will I truly admire her for this incredible act of generosity?

And there’s so much more to discuss. From legal and religious issues, to the whole process itself. The issue of infertility and the extreme lengths that people go to in hopes of creating a family is amazing by itself.

Well, stay tuned. Because we’ve got a lot of things to talk about in the next few months.

It should be fun. I promise it will be entertaining.