Q&A with E&S, Part 1

The first in what promises to be a reoccurring feature of GuestWomb where my daughters Emma and Sara get on a Facebook chat about the topic of the day. First up — Mom and her hard-to-self-administer injections.

DAD — So…Mom is having a hard time stabbing herself these days. Wot up with that? How does it make you feel? Why do you think this is happening? What can you do to help? Is it hilarious? Depressing? OK DISCUSS!!!

4:51pm Emma — OK, thats the question we gotta answer.

4:51pm Sarah — ok but did dad just say “wot up”???

4:52pm Emma — Fine, I’ll go first

4:53pm Emma — While I’m kind of annoyed with the fact she can’t do it, I’m sure it must be hard to actually stab yourself with the needle. Even though, I offer to do it for her, I get a little queasy at the thought of it.

4:54pm Sarah — Shes always so stubborn about it, like it isn’t easy but shes been doing this a million times!!

4:54pm Emma — and yes, Dad really did say that.
4:54pm Sarah —

4:55pm Emma — I know. But, again, would you, honestly, be able to do it?

4:55 pm Sarah — I could understand the first time being scared about injecting yourself, but shes just being ridiculous about it. After doing it 20 times i think I’d be okay with it.

She said it didn’t hurt. Then whats wrong with her?!??!

4:57 pm Emma — Exactly. I think once you’ve done it a few times, you’d think you’d be fine with injecting yourself another 20 times!

4:57 pm Sarah — I still think its disgusting

5:01 pm Emma — Me too. But it’s not like she can get a nurse to do it. I mean, she could, but she’d either have to drive all the way out to a doctor’s office or pay one to come over. She has Sue but thats for a different shot and she’s Mom’s friend.

5:02 pm Sarah – true

 

What You’ll Be Enjoying — Very Soon.

I admit it — I’m stealing….no. Borrowing this idea. The concept anyway.

One of my favorite little blogs is Minor Tweaks. It’s just a silly and fun little site that I view from time to time. But one of my favorite things is how he has reoccurring features, such as:

The Ikea Monologues – where the author conducts free ranging conversations with the automated customer service computer at the Ikea.com site.

The Backs of Stranger’s Heads – random pictures of literally that — the backs of people’s heads — usually in hats. Why? Who knows.

Off-Leash – a commentary on life by the author’s dog, written from the perspective that only a dog can provide.

It’s a device… a tool. A cheap ploy. Filler. Fodder. And now it’s mine! Because you see I’m going to have my own slate of regular features for this blog. Here’s my list so far:

The baby is now as big as — A place on this blog where every few weeks I deliver a visualization of the tiny alien growing inside my wife’s body.

The GuestWomb is now as big as — A weekly progress chart and visual of Michelle, Blog Heroine

Well chosen names/richly lived lives — A running feature of this blog where we propose names for this unborn child taking temporary residence in Michelle’s body, and imagine the colorful lives they are sure to lead.

Who’s yourdaddy – The Field Of 64 — Yeah, it’s Maury Povich’s idea. But I’m taking it to a whole new level! Think of an NCAA Basketball Tournament draw sheet. But instead of college team names, I’ll offer up 64 potential donor names. Like a tourney bracket, each one will be part of a ‘region’ of 16, or in this case a grouping. Let’s say: Actors. And I would then choose 16 potential actor fathers, and seed them according from most to least desirable. Each month we’ll ‘playoff’ the names, one by one. We’ll get down to a Final Four Fathers and finally have a gala final event where I’ll solicit ideas and opinions. Trust me…this will be fun.

Blogs I’d rather do – Pretty self explanatory. There are a limitless number of topics or themes I could blog on. Fun, interesting themes. Things I’m intensely or even mildly interested in writing about. Naturally then I’ve chosen Gestational Surrogacy, something I know nothing about. And if not for Michelle’s big project, would be 156,435,222 on a list of 156,435,224 possible topics. (You don’t want to know what the last two would be). This will be a running list of possible blogs I might have started that would appear higher up on the list.
Q&A with E&S — Between Facebook updates, AIM chats and cellphone texting, our two teenage daughters – E for Emma and S for Sara – will tackle some tough questions as posed by your friendly blog narrator. Our girls should provide a different perspective to this complex and emotional issue. The questions I intend to pose should really help people – especially teens – to understand their situation. And I see one benefit of this writing exercise to be and possibly help them come to terms with this very unique situation. And I’ll tap into that mediium that all teenagers seem to have an almost instinctual ability to know out of the womb — Facebook chat. Here’s an example of the kind of thought-provoking, hard hitting questions I will likely pose:

What does your Mom’s rapidly expanding belly most resemble ? Basketball or Blimp. Discuss!