In my last post – a message to the child-to-be — I asked….
No, urged him… Strongly urged.
No, that’s not right. I flat out DEMANDED that he get the hell out of Dodge. Or whatever we’re calling Michelle’s belly these days.
It had no effect. The round mound remains.
And as the days go by, my eternally cheerful, glass-half-full, happy go lucky Michelle has transformed into… Well, I think the picture below spells it out:
So I’m appealing to my readers — both of you — for ideas. How do we move things along?
One of my co-workers suggested some good spicy Pineapple salsa.
I thought maybe placing a speaker on her stomach and blasting some Wayne Newton songs might encourage him to leave.
I’m also guessing that going horseback riding is out of the question. (Poor horse).
Ideas, anyone?
Tuesday, May 18, 2010 at 9:14 pm
Oh I’ve got a host of home induction ideas… but not one of them will help speed up the process if she isn’t already heading in that direction. So my biggest suggestion? Icecream. And massages. And nights out with the girls. Also.. as eager as she is to get it over with now, I do promise you she will miss it when it’s over. All she *has* is this time in the lime light, as soon as that little one is born she’s chopped liver. Sorry, that’s just how it works. So pamper the heck out of her and just practice patience. Easier said then done, I know, but there it is.