My regular GuestWomb readers — waving at my Mom and Dad. Hi, Libel lawyer. Howdy Mr. IRS agent — may have noticed a few gaps between posts. I’ve set a pretty fast pace — 55 posts in 4 months — to launch this blog, and the last couple of weeks have been a needed break.
And it’s a good thing that I’m rested and ready to hit the keyboard. Because there’s a lot going on. It seems this surrogacy thing isn’t exactly the easy, slam dunk, done deal, no sweat, smooth sailing (insert cliche of your choice here) problem-free voyage that I had conjured up in my mind.
There’s a scene in one of Michelle’s favorite movie that comes to mind. It’s called Parenthood (ha…it just occured to me this very minute how ludicrous this is: A Gestional Surrogate’s favorite movie is Parenthood). Actors Steve Martin and Mary Steenbergen are experiencing more than the usual trials and tribulations of family life. Near the end of the movie, Martin’s elderly grandmother goes off on a riff about experiencing life in the allegory of an amusement park.
Grandma: You know, when I was nineteen, Grandpa took me on a roller coaster.
Martinl: Oh?
Grandma: Up, down, up, down. Oh, what a ride!
Martin: What a great story.
Grandma: I always wanted to go again. You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together! Some didn’t like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it.
God I hope this ride doesn’t have those upside down, stomach twisting, loop-de-loops.
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Monday, January 11, 2010 at 6:27 am
After years in the surrogacy world experiencing my own journeys and observing tons of others, I’ convinced that all journeys are roller coasters. The analogy of surrogacy (or any other infertility treatments, for that matter) to a roller coaster is one that is used widely. I think a good journey isn’t necessarily the absence of “loop-de-loops,” it’s more that there are far more ups than downs.
I hope that everything is okay and if they’re not, I hope that everything gets back on track soon.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010 at 10:29 pm
Hey there, I love what Kymberli said and I have to 100% agree.
I too have been through many ups and downs in surrogacy as well as councelled many surrogates as they ride their own personal waves. (I am a surrogate support person at an agency).
Surrogacy is not just about, lets get pregnant, give birth and say goodbye, but rather riding those waves, or that roller coaster, going through the fears, the scares the joys and thrills, and hopefully by the end of the ride, when you get out of the seat, your left feeling exhilerated, happy and filled with a personal satisfaction of risking the ride in the first place. You may never want to go again, but you can at least say you did it and have no regrets.
Sometimes, you get off the coaster and feel sick and sad and downright awful, those are the pitfalls to surrogacy, and sometimes even have regrets.
Whatever it is your going through, I hope your able to ride the waves, and in the end feel good about it, with no regrets.
Seek support and help in others, especially those who understand, and I too am here if you ever need someone to talk to…feel free to email me privately.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010 at 2:59 pm
[...] trying to explain our ’setback’ in Michelle’s journey as I alluded to in this post. And not doing so well. Maybe it’s because I’m much more inspired to write about [...]