GuestWomb

Another in a series of silly surrogacy laws.

From the Pacific Northwest, where people don’t tan…they rust (rim shot) I bring you the laws of the land in the great state of Washington:

It is illegal to paint polka dots on the American flag

All lollipops are banned.

X-rays may not be used to fit shoes.

A law to reduce crime states: “It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police as he is entering the town.

One may not spit on a bus.

In Seattle, they are getting REALLY tough on crime because: You may not carry a concealed weapon that is over six feet in length.

And the Emerald City is strict in other ways too: Women who sit on men’s laps on buses or trains without placing a pillow between them face an automatic six-month jail term.

No one may set fire to another person’s property without prior permission.

It is illegal to carry a fishbowl or aquarium onto a bus because the sound of the water sloshing may disturb other passengers.

Meanwhile, the city of Everrett declares that it’s illegal to display a hypnotized or allegedly hypnotized person in a store window.

And finally in the metropolis of Wilbur, the city father’s have declared: You may not ride an ugly horse.

Ugly is a good way to describe the Evergreen’s state’s stance on surrogacy contracts. The law prohibits surrogacy contracts for compensation over and above medical expenses as against public policy. No person (including lawyers, agencies or organizations) may enter into, induce, procure or otherwise assist in the formation of a surrogacy contract for compensation.

Any person or agency who intentionally violates this provision is guilty of a gross misdemeanor.

In Michelle’s own words:

I feel I must update anyone who may be reading this as I may have left some people hanging.

I mentioned before that I was going to receive additional testing to see if there was  a placenta previa. And so I worried and worried. For about three weeks. Followed all the doctor’s orders. Didn’t do any heavy lifting or the like. Learned all the ins and outs of it.

And then….my fears all went away. I was tested again — this time by a new (and improved!) set of doctors. No placenta previa.

And through all of this stress and worry and extra doctor appointments, the IPs were there every step of the way. Michelle and Barb have gone to every appointment even though it meant driving 90 minutes plus out of their incredibly busy days to get there.  I so appreciate their support —  and even more the lunches we enjoyed after all those tense appointments!

The baby boy, who so nicely strutted his stuff on the ultra sound monitor, is healthy and very active.  He even did a hgh kick to show off as he must have known that he was being watched.

He is a healthy pound and a half and 12 inches long. So with 17 more weeks to go I am feeling more confident that everything will be just fine ……in spite of my age.

The scariest pregnant picture ever

As promised here at GuestWomb.com, we are staying abreast — and every other body part — of the Tila Tequila surrogacy story.

My favorite (not) website, TMZ.com is now reporting:

We’ve learned Tila is shopping an ultrasound around she says proves she’s having a baby.

As for who the father is … God only knows.

UPDATE: Tila tells TMZ, “I hope it’s a boy but I’m not gonna find out ’cause I don’t wanna know. But if it’s a boy the name is Jayden. A girl – it’s Violet.”

She says the baby daddy is “a Swedish man – gorgeous.”

I’ve spent a couple of evenings trying to explain our ‘setback’ in Michelle’s journey as I alluded to in this post. And not doing so well. Maybe it’s because I’m much more inspired to write about light, whimsical and amusing topics. Not potentially serious stuff.

As a result, I’ve really labored (Ha. Labored. A pregnancy reference! See, this is what I mean about my problem of sticking to difficult topics. And being too easily amused.) at recording this little bump in the road.  So the last couple of nights have consisted of: Write, delete, write, edit, delete, play an online game, read ESPN, read about Conan and Leno…… And get nowhere. I even fail at describing accurately her latest situation above. It’s not a ‘setback’ or a ‘bump in the road’ at all. It’s a…..

Ah, to hell with it. Let Michelle tell the story and I’ll just get out of the way.

When I had been pregnant before (Ha, in the last century! Alright, that wasn’t fair. Or helpful. And I’m supposed to stay out of it.  Let’s start over.)

When I had been pregnant before  there wasn’t as much information available about tests, ultra sounds, diseases etc as much as there is today.  It was easy to think that everything was going to be fine, picture perfect becuase you were a little more in the dark. Ignorance was bliss in my case. I just assumed all was well. And it was.

But 14 years can make a differance.  There have been great strides in medical testing so that you can know everything about your baby, defects and all. And I mean everything.

Along my journey these last few weeks, there have been a couple bumps in the road (Oh, maybe it IS a bump in the road. I stand corrected.) starting with a blood test that came up a little  high for spina bifida.

So I did that natural thing, just retest……it too came up a little higher than normal but not by much. So additional tests were conducted.

The results were that all was well with the baby, No spina bifida was seen on an super 3-d ultrasound, but now they might have seen a placenta previa.  That is where the baby plants itself near the cervix opening or right on it, making it difficult to deliver later on. This will be confirmed later this week. 

So far there has been a lot of worries and stresses that I had never experienced before….I had always assumed that everything was going to be fine, and they were.

I am older now and have to come to terms with that, even though I feel 29. I am more than halfway through this pregnancy and feel very hopeful that all will be well, but am also being well cared for, cautious and informed. (Maybe too informed?)

The gift of life is just that, a gift….there are no guarantees in life, for life.  I dont believe in perfection, the perfect baby or perfect pregnancy.  I believe in being healthy, carrying a healthy baby and experiencing a healthy pregnancy. 

That is what I hope for now.

How in the world did I manage to include this picture in a blog about my pregnant wife? Amazing!

My wife is fond of saying that men are simply incapable of multi-tasking. And of course I always rise up to this challenge against my entire gender by dismissing her claim as baseless.

“That’s bunk,” I say, “I know plenty of men like me who can watch a football game on TV, text their friends on their cell phone, call to order pizza on the land line, and check their fantasy football stats on ESPN.”

“OK,” she says. “How about doing laundry while dinner is cooking, overseeing the kids’ homework and talking to my Mom on my bluetooth headset? OH, and be 5 months pregnant with a child for another couple.”

“Um…….,” I quicklycounter. “I can also think about the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders at the same time, too.”

OK, she’s got me there. Especially about that pregnancy part.

So it’s true that I may be multi tasking challenged, especially when it comes to this blog. While I”ve been busy living life to the fullest for the past few weeks, it’s been damned hard to find the time to write about all that living.

I need to learn what the other 800 million bloggers out there seem to have learned — to find a balance between:

#1 Doing.
#2 Thinking about what we’ve been doing.
#3 Recording the product of #1 and #2 for posterity.

Easier said than done on a daily — or even weekly — basis. I’m thinking that I’m going to be a streaky kind of blogger. Punching out a few posts now and then. Then once in a blue moon: Exploding with numerous posts during those all-too-rare moments when creativity intersects with a high energy level, combined with five spare minutes where I can find time to put fingers on keyboard.

And with the football season sadly coming to an end, maybe those times will occur more frequently.

And yet I am pretty sure I can both blog AND think about the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders.

My regular GuestWomb readers — waving at my Mom and Dad. Hi, Libel lawyer. Howdy Mr. IRS agent  — may have noticed a few gaps between posts. I’ve set a pretty fast pace — 55 posts in 4 months — to launch this blog, and the last couple of weeks have been a needed break.

And it’s a good thing that I’m rested and ready to hit the keyboard. Because there’s a lot going on. It seems this surrogacy thing isn’t exactly the easy, slam dunk, done deal, no sweat, smooth sailing (insert cliche of your choice here) problem-free voyage that I had conjured up in my mind.

There’s a scene in one of Michelle’s favorite movie that comes to mind. It’s called Parenthood (ha…it just occured to me this very minute how ludicrous this is: A Gestional Surrogate’s favorite movie is Parenthood). Actors Steve Martin and Mary Steenbergen are experiencing more than the usual trials and tribulations of family life. Near the end of the movie, Martin’s elderly grandmother goes off on a riff about experiencing life in the allegory of an amusement park.

Grandma: You know, when I was nineteen, Grandpa took me on a roller coaster.
Martinl: Oh?
Grandma: Up, down, up, down. Oh, what a ride!
Martin: What a great story.
Grandma: I always wanted to go again. You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together! Some didn’t like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it. 

God I hope this ride doesn’t have those upside down, stomach twisting, loop-de-loops.